Just venting. Think I just hit a wall in my treatment. I don't know why it happened but it did. Couldn't sleep to save my ass, even the prescription meds didn't work. How I felt was so up and down all week, everyday, got to me. Ive stayed positive thru all this, but even this week my mind was racing, even thinking about the inevitable. With the new year upon us, now I'm freakin scared. Scared that when I have the CT scan it will show that the spots on the liver haven't changed. Then I worry about Kris and Kate, family and friends living without me. Kris said alot of what I'm feeling is part of the side effects of the one chemo drug. I just don't know anymore. Treatment is tomorrow, so will talk with the doctor then. Just had to get this off my chest.
Talk with oncologist today. Looks like I'll be on some type of treatment for the rest of my life. Then CT scan at the end of month before my 8th treatment. So then we well see.
Thanks for listening guys.