It appears to be fine. Most upsetting they looked at me like I was speaking Greek. No sir, a Taurus is front wheel drive you won't have issues. They they wanted to tell me they typically don't have awd. I'm not sure why I would care about what's typical.
As I mentioned, the wheels were spinning freely when they had it hoisted from the front so I have to assume that there must be a sensor of some type that tells the car it's being towed and throws the trans into neutral. I can't figure any other way. I'm still in the city so I haven't had a chance to jump on the accelerator but it's quiet and seems to be fine for now.